The Choices We Make...

• On: 01/08/2010 08:04:55

The above picture is my childhood girlfriends - minus Gregg Gordon in the background - and we are missing Kathy - she was off galavaning around at our HS reunion.  Sshhh, I had a little crush on Gregg when we were in the 6th grade...ANYWAY....

As I get older and wiser (that is debatable) I realize we ALL make choices in our lives.  I was picking the kids up from school the other day and was listening to various people talk and bitch and moan about THIS obligation OR that obligation.  Or the 3,000  things we choose to put ourselves in OR 3,000 things and activites we put our kids in.

STOP.

I swear, the best thing we can do in the New Year is to really think about what makes us US.  What is at our core that makes us happy?  I was watching this special on TV about the women in Denmark.  The focus was on how "little" they had - by choice.  And, something struck me.  The interviewer asked them about money.  And, the women said..."Oh we all make the same amount of money....the government helps us get jobs and we are rarely out of work."  She went on to say, "We all live the same and we work the jobs we have a passion for."

DING DING DING.

So different than here in the USA.  And, that goes back to the "choices" we all make in our lives.

And, commercialism (ok ok) ...I am all for stuff.  But, sometimes I think we get carried away...and NOTHING reminds me of this then this time of the year.  Christmas, my birthday and then the twins birthday.  All within 2 weeks of one another.  I mean, what could we POSSIBLY NEED?  Nothing.

I have told family - NOTHING.  Please....take my kids on a field trip and play and celebrate them...and I will go to Tucson and celebrate in the sun and mountains.  That is all I want.  Do not buy me anything.   I am serious.

Then, I thought about what really makes me happy.  I mean, none of this BS crap la la la...but WHAT really makes me happy - and how can I control that happiness in 2010....with the help of Jerome and the kids - something we could do as a family unit...and this is what I came up with in no particular order:

1.) Health - I like to eat healthy, live a clean life and train for triathlons. 

2.)  Chocolate - this is in direct opposition to #1, but that is ok.  This is a must.

3.) Jerome/kids/family - of course.  but something more deep than that, I mean quality time together.  I have to remind myself of this daily as I am on the computer all day (they are at school) but to try hard to be plugged in. I am not perfect at this yet..but I do try...and when I am plugged in, I am happy.

4.)  Work - I tend to be a workaholic.  I have to be VERY careful because there is a fine line between happiness and craziness here.  I love my job and have made sure I made the RIGHT choices in my life to work the passion in my life.  I have done that and am living my life to the fullest in this segment.  The slippery slope - working too much, so I need to mediate that better.

5.)  Friends  - I am sorry but I would be NOTHING with out my good friends.  And, like you, I have different circles of girlfriends:  Neighbor friends, triathlon friends, childhood friends, college sorority sisters, basketball day friends, HS friends....pockets of various people that have impacted my life along the way.  I am so grateful for them all.  And, my friends are a priority to me. 

6.)  Mental health time.  AWAY from my work (Triathlon), away from my hobby (Triathlon) and away from the kids.  It is true.  We all need it and I think moms do a crappy job of this.  WE need it and we must make sure we do this.  I am not shy and do this frequently, but usually some type of Triathlon link is in there.  Sometimes that is ok.  But, when I spend all day talking Triathlon, then workout my self and then go to bed reading Triathlete magazing, I am unbalanced!  So, I make sure to schedule time away from it all - NO laptpops, NO kids....no men and get away.  This weekend (in T minus 4 hours) I am leaving for my annual Girls Weekend away.  We don't go anywhere glamorous, we go to my friend's lake house in Stoughton, Wisconsin.  Because Illinois is not cold enough.  But, we don't care.  We lay in our PJs all weekend and eat and drink and talk crazy stuff....and detox from life and get reconnected.  I crave this time every year.  We have been friends since the 3rd grade.  That is 31 years ago.  We all turn 39 this year.  Next year we are GOING NUTS for our 40th and going on a TRIP....we are already planning!

So, while my choices everyday are not 100% in line with my happiness, I have made sure that 99% of them are.  I say no ALOT (just ask my crazy neighbor friends or the PTA).  And, you know what? It is easy.  I feel no more guilt.  I used to.  It is horrible that way.  But, I have moved on. I go to the kids' stuff and then make sure they are involved in 1 thing per season and that is fine.  Graham plays soccer and Morgan is in Girl Scouts.  They are not overbooked.  I do NOT want to spend my nights or do they - running to 3 different practices and games.  That time will come.  They are only barely 8 now.

Because, at the end of the day, you know what makes me happiest?  Sitting  in my PJs, on my couch with my family watching TV and chatting (and some nights the laptop may be on) but that IS what makes me happy...after eating dinner as a family.  So, I have worked hard to make that happen...

And,  a happy mom is a GOOD thing in this house.  Just ask Jerome!  :)

I will report back on my weekend away - but I am going to have some FUN, don't you all worry about me.  And, I do get in a little run (my friends, who do NOT work out) think I am nuts...especially in the negative temps we will have tomorrow...but I love this little stoic town and enjoy my little quite and peaceful snowy run to bring in the New Year....